The rest of the Golden Globes: 

apriki:

• Longest Staring Competition: Ryan Gosling and Carey Mulligan, Drive
• The Mandatory 2011 Steven Spielberg War Obsession Film: War Horse, War Horse
• Best Supporting Actor (for their own appendage): Michael Fassbender, That Movie About My Penis
• I Don’t Need Another Award, But You’ll Give Me One Anyway Because I’m Meryl Streep: Meryl Streep, Exisiting
• Most Psychologically Disturbing Tumblr Obsession: Tate Langdon, American Horror Story
• I Only Came To Cheer For Kate Winslet: Leonardo Dicaprio, His Own Sad Life
• You Were Nominated To Round Out The Old People: Rooney Mara
• Get Drunk And Make Faces So The Internet Will Love You!!!: Robert Downey Jr, Handsome Inc.
• Go Home: Madonna, Why Are You Even Here
• Fan Favourite: Brad Pitt’s cane, Wherever He Got His Cane From